Lorsque l’on regarde des études qui examinent ce que les gens cherchent chez un partenaire romantique, les gens ont tendance à rapporter beaucoup de traits positifs. Par exemple, la gentillesse, l’honnêteté et la fiabilité sont probablement en haut de la liste.
En d’autres termes, nous disons en grande partie que nous sommes attirés par les gens sympas, et les gens dont nous attendons qu’ils nous traitent bien en retour.
Cependant, il existe un paradoxe intéressant dans la littérature scientifique sur l’attraction. Alors que les gens disent qu’ils sont attirés par des partenaires sympathiques, ils déclarent également être attirés par des personnes ayant des traits de personnalité “sombres”.
Il existe un groupe de trois traits de personnalité, connus sous le nom de triade noire, qui se sont révélés liés à une attraction accrue grâce à de multiples études. Ces traits sont le machiavélisme, la psychopathie et le narcissisme. Bien que chacun signifie quelque chose d’un peu différent, ils sont tous unis par une tendance à adopter un comportement antisocial, comme être insensible et manipulateur.
En surface, ces traits ne ressemblent pas à des choses qui seraient intuitivement sexuellement ou romantiquement attirantes. Cependant, il s’avère qu’ils sont souvent confondus avec des caractéristiques attrayantes. Par exemple, si vous ne connaissez pas très bien un narcissique, son estime de soi excessivement gonflée et sa tendance à parler d’eux-mêmes peuvent sembler communicatives et/ou sûres d’elles.
De même, les narcissiques et autres manipulateurs sociaux font souvent tout leur possible pour adopter une apparence plutôt attirante. Par exemple, ils peuvent consacrer plus de temps et d’efforts à leur apparence, s’entourer de symboles d’argent et de succès, et faire plus d’efforts pour dire les “bonnes” choses (même si elles ne sont pas vraies) afin de paraître désirables. Plusieurs études ont montré que les personnes présentant ces traits sombres sont souvent jugées plus attirantes que les personnes qui en ont peu.
Les hommes avec des traits de la triade noire sont considérés comme plus attirants.
Faites gaffe ! Les traits sombres, surtout comme le narcissisme, peuvent parfois être confondus avec des traits attrayants, surtout lorsque vous ne connaissez pas bien quelqu’un. Mais une fois piégés vous êtes en DANGER.
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